


He's Just Not That Into You

by crocodilepatronus



Category: One Piece
Genre: Asexual Character, Gen, Shirohige Kaizoku-dan | Whitebeard Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 19:16:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11904438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crocodilepatronus/pseuds/crocodilepatronus
Summary: a short fic I wrote for a prompt "asexual Ace" many years ago





	He's Just Not That Into You

“I-I’m terribly sorry, ma’am but I have to turn you down,” Ace stuttered uncomfortably, bowing at the hip stiffly infront of the woman.   
It wasn’t that he didn’t think she was cute, he did. She had a sweetness about her face and wide smile and she seemed like a kind person. After all, she’d waived the fee for his lunch and had been ever so courteous as a waitress to him just now.   
  
But Ace should’ve known better than to follow her outside when she said she needed to ask him something privately. Now they stood awkwardly behind the restaurant, in the little port town.   
  
“I-is it because you’re a pirate? I-I know about the Whitebeard pirates! I’ve read about them in the paper! I’m not afraid! I’ll go out to sea with you or anything you want! I don’t care about the danger!” the girl cried dramatically, tears pricking the corners of her periwinkle blue eyes as she gazed up at him imploringly.   
  
Ace scratched the back of his head and shoved a hand in his pocket, looking away to avoid the pull of her sad puppy dog eyes.   
  
“Yyeahh…. um, no, I mean no. I-it’s really not that. I mean….” he pursed his lips looking for the correct words and looked her in the eye reluctantly, “You… you seem like a lovely person.” okay that was good now keep going what are you supposed to say next? “a-and it’s nothing against you at all.” gentle but get the message across now… “But I’m just not interested.”  
  
There was a dead silence between the two before the young girl’s lip began to tremble and then the water works went. She wailed at the top of her lungs, tears streaking down both cheeks like rivers. People walking by in the town stopped to stare or whisper amongst eachother. Ace frantically waved his hands around, trying to think of what to do, lighting for a moment on her shoulders then going back to wring his own hands, then hesitantly going to pat her head, then thinking better of it. He looked from side to side helplessly as he overheard whispers.   
  
“A lover’s quarrel? Did he break up with her I wonder?”  
  
“Poor girl. Probably heartbroken by that tattooed delinquent.”   
  
“Young men these days are such brutes.”  
  
Not sure wether he should be trying to defend himself or calm the girl down, Ace could only look back and forth, confused and sweating under the pressure. 

 - 

 

Marco and Thatch had gone to stock up on food and supplies in the town and were walking by when Thatch spotted their fellow commander.   
  
“Hey look it’s Ace” he observed cheerfully, tapping Marco on the shoulder, “Ohh? But it looks like he’s in some trouble? What’s he gone and done this time I wonder?”   
  
Marco sighed as they started to walk over, “Probably just tried to dine and dash again. Typical.”   
  
But the two stopped in their tracks as they got close enough to overhear.   
  
“I-I just,” the girl said between chest wracking sobs, “I thought we had… SOMETHING SPECIAL!” she finished in a keening yowl of anguish, “When I brought your food over a-and some of the sauce spilled onto my hand….” she took a deep, shaky, breath before continuing “and you took my hand ….. and licked it off!”   
  
She swiped an arm across her eyes, glaring at him through her uncalled for tears. “To think that that meant nothing to you!!”   
  
Ace was practically leaning back on his heels to try and lessen the impact of her wrath. He was clearly at a loss of what to do or say and had given up trying at this point.   
  
Thatch and Marco exchanged a quizzically bemused look.   
  
“You…. you…. HEART THIEF!” the girl finally sniffled.   
  
At this Ace straightened up, face going pale and eyes widening.   
  
“I-I stole your heart? I don’t remember that… Isn’t a heart like super important?! I-I’ll give it back right away if I have it!” he said in a frenzy patting down his pockets in search of her missing organ. This only granted him a slap across the face.   
  
“Don’t joke around! I can’t believe I ever fell for a man who could mock a girl’s feelings like that!” and with that she ran back into the restaurant in a trail of sobs.  
  
Ace stood dumbfounded, cheek red where he’d been slapped and eyes wide and unmoving.   
  
Tentatively, Marco and Thatch approached him.   
  
“Whoo. What a doozy. You gotta watch out for crazy chicks like that.” Thatch said giving him a hard pat on the back, “I mean I should know. I practically gotta use a sword to fend off all the babes who are after a piece of me.” he sighed, stroking his goateed chin with a sparkle of pride in his eye.   
  
“Yeah right.” Marco scoffed “C’mon, Ace, forget about it. Let’s go back to the ship.”  
  
As they walked Ace didn’t speak, looking at the ground with his lip set out in a pout. He looked like a little boy at school who’d just been reprimanded for something.   
  
“Hey, don’t take it to heart, yeah? It wasn’t your fault after all. Anyway, what was the matter with the girl? Just not your type?” Thatch asked curiously.   
  
Ace looked thoughtful and scratched his chin, his eyebrows furrowing together almost comically. “Hmmm...my type...? Well she seemed nice and stuff. She looked kind of like a puppy, so….. that’s cute, right?” he thought about it some more, stroking his chin very slowly and thoughtfully before finally deciding with a nod of his head, “Yeah. I guess she just...wasn’t my type.”  
  
Thatch laughed it off and teased him but Marco was thinking. 

\----

  
“Have you ever seen Ace with a girlfriend?” Marco asked somewhat casually as some of the crew played cards that night. Ace had already gone to sleep so the ones left in the game were Marco, Thatch, Kingdew, Izou, and Vista.   
  
“What, are you still over thinking what happened this afternoon?” Thatch barked in a laugh.   
  
Marco took a gulp of his draft and shrugged. “Well. It just made me wonder. Ace is a young guy but I’ve never seen him look at a girl with interest.”  
  
“Unless she has food in her hands” Kingdew guffawed.   
  
Izou leaned back, giving the question some serious thought.   
  
“Hn. I guess I’ve never seen Ace go after a girl either. I guess there’s a chance he’s…”  
  
he was cut off by Vista saying “I always just assumed he was  _like that_.”  
  
Marco narrowed his eyes at them suspiciously, “Like what?”   
  
“I assumed he preferred men.” Vista said with a cheeky grin at Marco.   
  
“Hey I guess it’s not unusual. But I gotta say I’ve never seen him with any boyfriends either.” Thatch snickered.   
  
“Could be that he’s embarassed. Maybe he doesn’t really fully understand it himself yet.” Izou said with soft spoken compassion.   
  
“Ya mean he’s still in the closet?” Kingdew chuckled with a cocked eyebrow.   
  
“It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s none of our business.” Izou sighed, returning his attention to the card game.   
  
“Oi, oi, oi! How isn’t it our business? He’s our shipmate after all! We should be doing everything we can to help him out, ne?” Thatch chirped with a naughty grin plastered all over his scarred face. Marco shot a glare at him.   
  
“Don’t mess around. This isn’t some excuse for you to cause trouble for your own amusement.”  
  
Thatch put up his hands defensively in mock surrender, “Me? Making trouble? I wouldn’t dream of it! I just think we should encourage our dear young commander in the right direction.” he sighed dreamily, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling, “He’s like a wayward lamb and we are his sheperds.”  
  
“You’re more like a wolf” Kingdew commented flatly.   
  
“So it’s settled then, right? Great scientists use experimentation to discover things so if we want to know more about Ace-kun we have to do some field work too!”

 

\----

  
“Got any bites?” Thatch asked, tweaking a suggestive eyebrow and leaning in uncomfortably close to Ace who was fishing on the deck.   
  
It was the next day and a few crew members who were in on the plan were hiding behind the wall suppressing their giggles as they watched.   
  
Thatch was enjoying himself very much adding an exaggerated sway to his hips as he walked and thrusting his pelvis out slighty in Ace’s general direction as he leaned across the railing in what he hoped would be a seductive pose.   
  
Ace seemed to not notice any of this and just cheerfully grinned without a care in the world, “Nope. And I accidentally burnt two fishing poles this morning too! Both times I fell asleep and when I woke up I thought I was holding a snake and so I set it on fire. Then I realized what it was but for a second it was pretty scary.”   
  
From behind the wall that they were watching from Vista gave Izou an incredulous look as he whispered, “…he made that mistake TWICE…? In one morning…?”  
  
Thatch stroked his fingers along the length of the fishing rod until they were lying lightly on Ace’s crotch and met his eyes with his own.   
  
“You should be more careful, Ace-kun… Though it’s not your fault…. that you’re so  _hot_ …” he trailed off, leaning in even closer until his breath could be felt on Ace’s parted lips.   
  
Ace looked him in the eye, and there seemed to flicker a curiosity and captivation at the other man’s behavior… for only an instant before he laughed and turned his head away casually.   
  
“Yeah I’ll be more careful. Fire powers come in handy most of the time but man, they can cause trouble too.”  
  
Thatch sighed hopelessly and gave his onlookers a look of mock dejection over his shoulder.   
  
“Okay then, I guess I’ll just leave you to it….” he sighed, walking away. Ace didn’t look back, only kept going about his fishing; cheerfully oblivious. 

 

\----

  
“You’re saying he’s not gay because he had no interest in  _Thatch_?” Marco asked incredulously as the group stood in the kitchen, “He’s  ** _Thatch_**!”   
  
The person in question frowned poutily, crossing his arms over his chest. “Marco, you have no sense of taste. Much more stubborn men than that have fallen prey to my seductive charms before.”   
  
“Oh give it up. This is so stupid I’m kind of ashamed to be near you guys right now. Wether Ace likes boys or girls doesn’t really matter anywa-“   
  
“Hey guys what’cha talkin’ bout?” Ace walked in with a big smile.   
  
Everyone froze and turned to him, nudging eachother and jerking their heads toward the intruder as if silently asking them what the heck they should do.   
  
Ace only looked around quizzically, still smiling.   
  
“Ace- are you gay or straight?!” Haruta burst out suddenly breaking the silence.   
  
“Haruta?!” everyone else exclaimed quickly rushing to cover his mouth or pass of the question to mean something else.   
  
“…huh?” Ace asked making them all stop in their frenzy.   
  
He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head to one side.   
  
“I guess I never really thought about it…. or more like….” he paused looking for words, “I guess you could say…. I’m not interested in either sex.”   
  
Everyone’s mouth dropped at the lackluster response.   
  
The fire fist folded his arms behind his head snickering. “I guess I’m just not interested in sex.”   
  
He walked by the stunned silent crewmates to the fridge and opened it up.   
  
“Hey, any leftover meat in here?” 


End file.
